Conflict Resolution

This is one of the first in series of Leadership qualities. I will share the tricks and trade I learnt from my God Fathers on my way. I have hardly learnt from anything inanimate. All the bests !!!

When it rains, all birds fly for shelter, but the EAGLE avoids the rains by flying above the clouds. – courtesy SMS from Vaibhav, the experiential guide

Through out the ages, while working with people and interacting with them, I found that the easiest way to resolve a conflict to take the conflicting parties to a context higher than the one they are fighting on. Of course this doesn’t guarantee that the 2 parties won’t collide on the next level, but it gives ample time within which the 2 parties get used to each others attitudes, ego, likes & dislikes. The chances of further conflict greatly reduces. And if at all the 2 parties collide on the next level after a certain time, there is always a way to reuse the same mechanism and take them to the level next to this one and so on till a point that their egos find no meaning in fighting it out.

If you have reached this far, it shows you are looking for the examples below :

Using Carrot to resolve conflict : Avish & Rita are module leaders of a project. The company believes that it has placed these equals at equal positions. The project manager to whom Avish & Rita report is handling multiple projects. After about 3 months of close monitoring the project following Agile methodologies, he is now letting Avish & Rita to follow suite. As anyone can expect, both fight to show that they are leading the whole effort. One day it blows out verbally infront of the whole office. The PM picks up both Avish & Rita and asks them to leave the campus immediately and even signals the security to kick their buts. Both get scared watching the security on the way and leave gently saying the ifs-and-buts which the PM isn’t wanting to listen. They are out. PM cools the rest of the team, tells them that he hasn’t given them a break from ages. They need some vacation now. PM shares his own experiences with the team, the team has a big laugh and gets an assurance that Avish & Rita will work together in future. After an hr, Avish & Rita are called in a conf room with just 3 seats. Both take positions and the PM is staring at them. They laugh at each other and then the PM asks them to put their positions forward. Within 15 seconds they start the BLAME-GAME. PM says you have 2 choices either to fight and resolve the conflict among themselves or discuss and let the PM resolve it for them. They oblige. Rita starts speaking and Avish interrupts, the PM says ladies first. Avish is disturbed (salary aur appraisal dete vakt bhi ladies first hai kya?). Then PM empathizes with Rita and asks her to give Avish too an opportunity like she got. Avish blasts out and then silences. PM asks Rita to lead the teams and assures that Avish will not come in her way. Rita is happy and leaves the cabin – she is the boss now. Avish is shattered. He too leaves. PM calls on Avish in the evening at tea-time and asks him if he can join him to the nearby restaurant. Avish cries out his position and says that he hated my decision. PM emphathizes with him and tells him that he needed Avish to fill the centre of excellence position vacant in the service line. The position gives lots of exposure the marketing division which Avish is very kicked about. Rita never would have been happy with such a position. Both leads have a sound sleep that nite. The PM has a much more sounder sleep :)

Using Stick to resolve conflict :  High pressure situation in a labor intensive service industry. Two sections within the same department need to coordinate for client delivery. Outputs from both the sections are collected by the Boss and delivered to the client. Section –A finishes it’s job and the lead Chaudhari (typical show-off category) pushes the delivery to the Boss without coordinating with Ansari(typical process freak), the lead from Section-B. Ansari is ready and is waiting for Chaudhari to give a heads up so both can deliver a full solution together. The Boss is finicky since the deliverable from Section-B hasn’t yet arrived. Boss catches both the leads by their collars and is asking the reason for the half delivery. Ansari is blaming Chaudhari for not communicating and violating the SOP. Chaudhari is pointlessly arguing his position. Boss combines the delivery and makes sure the client isn’t waiting for long. Boss asks Ansari to get out and take a break to cut out the conflict instantaneously.  Within an hr the Boss gets both the leads together and sensitizes the fact that this incident is worth being documented in the Personal File of the employees. This directly affects the appraisal and the employee linked benefits like bonuses. Both said sorry to each other, shook their hands and parted for a better coordinated effort.